From Dragons to Saints: Matthew 18:15-20 - Fourteenth Sunday after Pentecost

[Jesus said to the disciples:] ¹⁵“If another member of the church sins against you, go and point out the fault when the two of you are alone. If the member listens to you, you have regained that one. ¹⁶But if you are not listened to, take one or two others along with you, so that every word may be confirmed by the evidence of two or three witnesses. ¹⁷If the member refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if the offender refuses to listen even to the church, let such a one be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector. ¹⁸Truly I tell you, whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven. ¹⁹Again, truly I tell you, if two of you agree on earth about anything you ask, it will be done for you by my Father in heaven. ²⁰For where two or three are gathered in my name, I am there among them.” (NRSV)

Praying hands by Esther Gibbons.  Creative commons image on flickr.

“Watch out for well-intentioned dragons in the church!”

This was the advice given to me and my seminary classmates by a retired bishop.  He’s quoting the title of a well-known book about church conflict that’s unfortunately out of print.  Nevertheless, I can think of no better words to describe some of the people I’ve met during my lifetime in the church.  You’ve met them too, I can assure you. 

99.9% of the time, people come to church with good intentions.  And yet, these good intentions are the perfect disguise for sin. 

Well-intentioned dragons take what is supposed to be all about God and God’s people, and make it all about themselves.  They believe they are right—and strive to win people to their side who support their ideals.  They love gossip and impromptu congregational meetings in the parking lots.  They proudly embrace what they see as their divine duty to rid the church of evil elements.

Well-intentioned dragons love power and esteem.  They are highly resistant to any change that they themselves do not create.  They take credit for everything that goes right, and then blame everyone but themselves for everything that goes wrong. 

You’ll feel the flames if you say or do anything to offend them to challenge their moral authority—especially if they do not consider you their ally.

Sometimes, you’ll see dragons as the natural-born leaders and visionaries. They’re people of action, constantly striving to move the church forward.  They’re the people with the loudest voices, who are always the first to speak up.  They’re the people who always get recognition—and always get their way.

Other times, you’ll see dragons as the people most different from you.  You’ll call them conservative or liberal.  They’re the insiders when you’re an outsider (or vice-versa).  They’re of a different age, a different gender, a different race, a different anything. 

Many in the church live in fear of dragons because they’ve been hurt and don’t want to be hurt again.  They’re bitter towards the dragons who’ve rejected and mistreated them.  They’ve been labeled as dragons—and avoid conflict so as not to have the label imposed upon them.  They don’t speak up when something’s wrong or ask questions when confronted with something they don’t understand.  They [wrongly] see themselves as a nobody and think that anything they say or do is of no consequence or value.

And if things don’t work out in your church, you can easily join another—or quit church altogether. 

Any way you slice it, when you put all these well-intentioned dragons into any kind of community, you’re going to have conflict.  Left unchecked, conflict destroys churches, families, neighborhoods, workplaces, anything.  However, the complete lack of conflict is dangerous, too—because God’s work always encounters resistance.  This was true at the beginning of creation, when God brought order out of chaos—and it was true for Jesus, who obeyed God’s will and ended up crucified.

Jesus knew full well there would be conflict in his church—because the church is built on relationships—and relationships cannot exist or grow without conflict.  In today’s Gospel, he teaches us how to deal with it:

If someone sins against you, talk to that person in private—not to attack, but to reconcile.  If reconciliation fails, take to others along as witnesses.  If that fails, simply walk away. 

Don’t let your anger drive you.  Don’t go trying to convince the other that they’re wrong and you’re right.  Let love drive you.

Jesus promises, “if two of you agree…about anything you ask, it will be done for you.  Where two or three are gathered in my name, there I am among them.”

So when someone offends or threatens you, and your fight or flight instincts kick in, take a moment.  Catch your breath.  Hear that person out.  Speak what’s on your heart.  Let your love—and not your anger speak.  You’ll know you’re acting in love if you’re valuing your relationship with that person more than being right.

When a decision must be made but there is no consensus; when people are hurting and afraid for what the future holds, and the situation looks bleak: join hands and pray.  Listen to God’s Word.  Hear every voice.  Break bread together.  Be willing to say “I’m sorry” and “I forgive you.”

I’m reminded of the times I encountered a well-intentioned dragon in my last job: that dragon was me.  It wasn’t that I set out to hurt people.  I was just being myself, doing what I thought was right—but I did wrong.  Thankfully, God gave me the opportunity to talk it out with the people I hurt, and from that point on, there was trust.  My relationships with those people were positive. 

Conflict is never pleasant—but in Christ, it is redemptive.  Amazing grace is what makes saints out of sinners, and a church out of well-intentioned dragons.  We need others to help us see the dragons we cannot see in ourselves.  We need the wisdom of many voices to discern God’s will, even when we’re not all in agreement.  We need the rich tapestry of diversity to be able to know a God who is beyond our comprehension. 

For our church to grow, we all have to give something and give up something—but when we do, the WE in Christ is greater than the ME.  Jesus can always be found in the love that binds us together, one sinner to the other.