The Bible: My Anchor, My Light ~ January 23 Bible Study

I do not remember a time in my life that I did not have a Bible.  For most of my life, I’ve had many Bibles.  What I have not always had was a relationship with God.

I was raised in a loving, Christian home.  Every Sunday, we left the house at 8 a.m. for Sunday school and church—no exceptions.  I sang in the children’s choir, was confirmed, participated in youth group, and attended a Christian college.  But I can’t say I was close to God.  For most of my younger years, God was almighty, holy—and distant.  I questioned whether or not I was good enough for God to love me.  I was frequently discouraged that others had so much more faith than me.  Most of the time, I opened the Bible out of a sense of duty.  Sometimes, I opened in hopes of finding faith and peace within the pages.  But still, I struggled.  I read, but my heart was seldom engaged in it.  I read the Bible because I was too scared not to read the Bible.  God remained distant all the while.

Everything changed the day my boss told me that I was not required to work on Sundays. 

For nearly two years, I worked nearly every Sunday—and didn’t go to church.  In time, my boss learned I was a Christian—and she cared enough to allow me to be where I needed to be.  Once back in church, I rediscovered God’s love in the church’s people.  Even though I was the youngest participating adult, I was loved and accepted as I was.  In time, these people encouraged me to consider a call to ministry.  The rest is history.

My most significant learning from my seminary journey was that I am loved by God just as I am.  I always feared that I wasn’t good enough to be a pastor—but I learned that I didn’t have to be, because God is faithful.  I don’t have to prove myself worthy of God.  I’m baptized to live in God’s goodness.

In spite of all my seminary training, it was tough (at first) getting back in God’s Word.  I knew it—but I wasn’t experiencing a real connection with God.  But the more and more I was in ministry, the more and more I began to discover God’s love in other people.  I give great credit to my spiritual advisor for helping me to see all the ways God is being gracious and merciful to me and to God’s children. 

In time, I recognized an incredible hunger for God’s presence before going to sleep—because this was the time that all the worries and stresses of life and work would linger and bounce around in my mind.  For the first time ever, the Bible became a beautiful gift to anchor my worried mind and troubled heart in God’s truth.  I found myself and my own faith journey in the Bible’s characters.  I found passages to upon which to meditate, memorize, and recite back to myself whenever I was afraid.  I come to a greater understanding of God’s presence in the midst of the chaos and trials of our day as I learn of God’s work in the chaos and trials of yesteryear.  I found greater clarity in my sense of call as a pastor—and the very words to pray for this congregation and its people.  It is with thanksgiving that I say that my soul feasts on the richest of fare, both morning and night as I open the Word in my private devotional reading.

The world and its ways give much credibility to the devil’s lies: that God is fantasy, and that there is no hope for anything or anyone.  The Bible anchors me in the truth that this is God’s world, and God is in control.  The Bible illuminates my life with the light of God’s love amid all the darkness of the times. 

The Bible has become a fountain of grace for me—along with the sacraments, and my fellow Christians.  With the Word, the Sacraments, and my Church, my life is surrounded and filled with God’s amazing love. 

My prayer for you is that the Holy Spirit will speak through the Bible to form you in faith and give you the same peace and joy I have receive from God every day.