Forgiving...and Never Forgetting ~ Matthew 18:21-35 ~ September 11, 2011

Do we have to forgive Bin Laden and the terrorists who attacked us ten years ago today?

Should we forgive them like the king in Jesus’ parable forgives his servant?

In the parable, the servant owes a debt in the amount of 10,000 talents.  This was debt was so massive it was beyond imagination—like our national debt (!).  In this time of history, a laborer would have had to work every single day for 165,000 years to repay it.  Since the slave obviously couldn’t pay, the king orders that he, his family, and his possessions be sold off as slaves.   When the slave begs for the king’s patience, the king takes pity on him—and forgives the debt. 

Later, this servant finds himself in even bigger trouble with his king because he didn’t forgive the debt of one of his fellow servants; a much smaller debt, equal to about 100 days’ wages. 

In sum, the parable reminds us that God has forgiven us a debt that is greater than anything we could have repaid.  Therefore, we are to forgive others the same way that God has forgiven us.

But there are some big differences between this parable and the situation we face today.  The terrorists are mass murders.  They are undoubtedly some of the most violent and evil human beings to have ever walked this earth.  And they’re certainly not sorry for what they’ve done.  They’re not asking for our forgiveness—so why should we forgive them?

When it comes to the 9/11 victims’ families—or any of us who have suffered violence, hatred, and cruelty at the hands of another human being—it seems like God is asking too much of us.  It’s not fair to have to forgive them.  We don’t owe them anything—so for us to owe them forgiveness makes for an even greater injustice.  Even if they did ask for our forgiveness, there’s no way that we can get back what they took from us.  We’ll never forget what they did to us—so why should we forgive them? 

To start, there are many things that forgiveness is not…

Forgiveness is not forgetting—because it’s impossible to forget when a person takes something or someone away who can’t be replaced. 

Forgiveness is not excusing.  Forgiveness doesn’t change the fact that someone did something wrong.  It is right for the guilty to be punished for their crimes.  Forgiveness means that we see the guilty punished for the sake of justice—not revenge.

And forgiveness is not something that we can do by our own power.  It’s not a natural human response. “Forgiveness is divine.”  Forgiveness is what God does—so you need God’s help to do it.  So we learn forgiveness by receiving God’s forgiveness.  We confess our sins and hear God’s promise of forgiveness.  We feast on the body and blood of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of our sins. 

Ultimately, the Bible doesn’t allow for exceptions to the rule.  We forgive others just as God forgave us.  But we don’t forgive others because we owe it to them—we forgive because we owe it to God.  Forgiving others is fulfilling our obligation to the God who forgives us. 

Because we are forgiven, we don’t have to live in fear of God’s wrath at the magnitude of our sin.  God’s forgiveness of us is unconditional.  In fact, we were forgiven before we ever even thought to confess our sins.  God’s forgiveness heals us when our sin brings us suffering.  And in just the same way, our forgiveness of others heals the hurts that others give us.  Forgiveness doesn’t give us back what was taken away from us—but it does give us a new beginning.

At the same time, I’d be lying if I said that forgiving is easy.  It is un-forgiveness that is easy.  When someone hurts us, it’s easy to think that we have the right to get back at them.  We want to do whatever we can to punish the other person.  Hate, bitterness, and anger become the weapons of our un-forgiveness. 

But in the end, nothing good comes out of un-forgiveness.  It doesn’t heal us—any more than it give back what was taken from us.  So how can we spending our life energy punishing someone bring about our healing?  Not only are we hurting someone else in the process, we’re destroying ourselves.  Un-forgiveness is a poison that makes all of our wounds fatal. 

I love the expression “burying the hatchet,” because that’s what forgiveness is really all about.  We take the hatchet that wounded us and bury it in the ground.  And that is the most defiant thing we can do towards the one who hurt us.  Forgiveness is our outright refusal to allow them—or the wounds they gave us—to rule over us.  Even though we’re still bleeding from the wound they gave us, forgiveness enables us to turn our attention towards our own healing.  We can spend our time praying for God’s healing instead of dwelling on our hurt and anger.  Our minds are freed to meditate on the promises of the Gospel.  Our hands are freed to reach out to all of the people God provides to minister to us.  Our hearts are illuminated with hope because forgiveness banishes away the darkness.

And then we go and put it all into practice.  We start small—forgiving people of their minor debts; the little inconveniences we experience throughout the day that tempt us get angry and lash out at other people.  Forgiveness means being patient with the cashier who overcharges you at the checkout.  Forgiveness means not blasting the horn at the driver who cuts you off in traffic.  You bury the hatchet.  You forgive.  And by doing this, you will be more able to bigger sins and greater debts. 

In time, forgiveness will go from being something that you do to the way in which you live.  And life will be so much better because of it.  We’ll be able to enjoy our relationships to their fullest.  We’ll be able to live in God’s peace.  The hurts won’t get the best of us.  God’s grace will flow through every moment of our days as we receive God’s forgiveness and extend it to others. 

All of us will suffer hurts.  Some will heal, and some will afflict us each and every day.  But forgiveness heals us—because forgiveness is divine.  God’s forgiveness has altered the course of our destiny.  We are claimed by God for eternal life.  And by practicing God’s forgiveness, we can have a little bit of heaven on earth.  God can use even our greatest hurts to do amazing things for us and for others. 

So let this of grieving and remembrance also be a day of forgiveness—so that we can work together to overcome evil with peace, with justice, and with love.