Faithful Doubt: Matthew 28:16-20 - Second Sunday of Easter
I felt like I’d just won the lottery.
I was in 9th grade, first period gym class, and all freshmen were required to do lap swimming two days per week for half the year. But there were too many students in my class for the pool, so twelve of us were chosen for ice skating instead. And I was one of them.
I had never ice skated before, and the first thing the teacher taught us was how to fall. At first, I thought that was dumb. I wanted to learn how not to fall. But everyone falls, including Olympic figure skaters and professional hockey players.
The worst way to fall is to start swinging your arms around when you lose your balance, which will cause you to fall backwards, and most of the impact will be absorbed either by your wrists, elbows, or (heaven forbid), your head.
We were taught to keep our knees bent, and if we felt ourselves slipping, we should squat downward and twist our knees. This way, you’re reducing the height of the fall, and spreading the impact out across your body.
It was good advice which not only spared me broken bones, it helped me feel a lot more comfortable on the ice.
It makes me wonder—we teach people to have faith, but shouldn’t we also teach people what to do when you doubt?
Click here to read the Gospel lesson
You cannot have faith without doubt. Faith, without doubt, isn’t really faith. Yet, we go to great lengths teaching people not to doubt. History has not been kind to Doubting Thomas. The way Matthew describes it, Thomas wasn’t the only one of the remaining eleven who doubted.
I find that hard to believe, because if I could see Jesus in person like they did, I wouldn’t doubt. Or would I?
The disciples left everything to follow Jesus: their jobs, their homes, their families, everything.
They were far from perfect disciples, but they stood by Jesus, because they believed he was the Messiah who would liberate God’s people from the Romans and take the throne of David. This is why they refused to believe Jesus when he spoke about his death. When Jesus was arrested, they scattered and fled, because they didn’t want to end up being crucified.
Even though, now, they are face-to-face with the resurrected Jesus, who’s forgiven them for deserting and denying him, things had not turned out the way they expected. And now, Jesus was sending them to make disciples of all nations, without him there to lead them. Not only did this feel impossible, it was also dangerous. To say publicly that Jesus was risen from the dead was to commit treason against Rome. So why didn’t they quit?
I ask because there are countless Christians who will live the life of discipleship for a time, and one day, then walk away, and not really miss it. Everyone’s reasons are different, but every follower of Jesus will reach a point where you question whether it’s all worth it. Many will quit coming to church and give up faith practices like prayer and bible study simply because they are busy. I call this everyday doubt because everyday stress is what feeds it. Subconsciously, you focus your attention on the things which need to be done or the things you want to do, rather than God. In those times you need God most, you turn to other things. I deal with this every day. I like to begin every day with prayer and reading the Word in Season booklet. But with emails and voicemails to return, and matters which require my immediate attention, prayer is an easy thing to skip, because no one’s going to notice. Little by little, you lose the habits of faith—and you don’t even realize what you’re missing.
The disciples who doubted the risen Jesus were experiencing the more serious and acute form of doubt, what I would call devastating doubt. This occurs when something traumatic happens which makes you question everything you’ve ever believed. In your heart, you feel that God has abandoned you. You’re knocked down and you can’t get back up.
Just as every ice skater falls, every Christian doubts. Faith without doubt isn’t really faith. How can a human mind comprehend the awesome mysteries of the God who created the universe, let alone live in relationship to that God and be certain of what God is doing?
This is why it is important for you to learn to doubt faithfully. Thomas wasn’t shy about his doubts, and you shouldn’t be either. You should never feel ashamed if you have doubts about anything related to God, to the bible, to faith, or to the church. Together, we must make this church the safest place for you to express your doubts. We have a grief support group in this church; perhaps we should have a doubt support group as well.
If Jesus’s disciples hadn’t stuck together, the trauma of Christ’s crucifixion would’ve gotten the best of them, and I don’t think seeing Jesus alive would’ve made much difference. The love of God which we share with each other is the manna which sustains you in the desert of doubt. You can easily find yourself hurting so badly that you can’t believe in God. But if God’s people love you like Jesus loves you, you can make it.
Above all else, Jesus loves you too much to let you be swept away by doubt. I know this because Jesus shows up in the places of doubt. When did the women see Jesus alive? When they went to the tomb. When was Peter rescued by Jesus? When he and the disciples were caught in a deadly storm, and he failed to walk on water. When does Jesus give the Great Commission? When the disciples were still doubting. Jesus’s love would not them go. It will be no different for you.
Jesus’s resurrection wasn’t just a victory over sin. It was a victory over all the things which happen that bring you to doubt. He has conquered those things, and he wants to reveal that victory to you. Jesus wants to be risen in you. So don’t give the devil a victory. Don’t let stress and despair run your life. Don’t abandon the love that never abandons you.
 |
| Photo credit: churchart.com |
Comments
Post a Comment