Grudges, Grievances, and God: Genesis 50:15-21 - 15th Sunday after Pentecost

 ¹⁵Realizing that their father was dead, Joseph’s brothers said, “What if Joseph still bears a grudge against us and pays us back in full for all the wrong that we did to him?” ¹⁶So they approached Joseph, saying, “Your father gave this instruction before he died, ¹⁷‘Say to Joseph: I beg you, forgive the crime of your brothers and the wrong they did in harming you.’ Now therefore please forgive the crime of the servants of the God of your father.” Joseph wept when they spoke to him. ¹⁸Then his brothers also wept, fell down before him, and said, “We are here as your slaves.” ¹⁹But Joseph said to them, “Do not be afraid! Am I in the place of God? ²⁰Even though you intended to do harm to me, God intended it for good, in order to preserve a numerous people, as he is doing today. ²¹So have no fear; I myself will provide for you and your little ones.” In this way he reassured them, speaking kindly to them.

zoocreative / Hands Across the Divide

For as long as there have been siblings, there have been sibling rivalries.

 

Cain, the firstborn son of Adam and Eve, murdered his younger brother Abel in a fit of jealous rage—after God inexplicably favored Abel’s offering over his own. 

 

Then you have the fraternal twin sons of Isaac and Rebecca: Esau and Jacob. Jacob cajoled Esau into trading his birthright for lentil stew and bread. Later, Jacob tricked his dying father into giving him the blessing that rightfully belonged to Esau, the elder brother. 

 

The sibling rivalries then exploded among Jacob’s twelve sons and one daughter. Joseph was the twelfth child born to Jacob, but he was the favorite—because Rachel, Joseph’s mother, was the favorite of Jacob’s four wives. One way he favored Joseph was by dressing him in “the amazing technicolor dreamcoat.” He also spared Joseph much of the manual labor that he required of his brothers. But Joseph was naturally charismatic and had a talent for interpreting dreams. He had the audacity to tell his older brothers, “one day, you will bow to me.” 

 

Unsurprisingly, his brothers bore a grudge against him. In fact, they were plotting to kill him—until Reuben, the oldest son, intervened. Then Judah, son number four, had the idea to sell Joseph off to Midianite traders (for eight ounces of silver). They then dipped Joseph’s colorful robe in goat’s blood, took it to their father, and told him that his favorite son was dead.

 

For Joseph, this began an odyssey that would take him from slavery and imprisonment to becoming the Prince of Egypt. Joseph’s charisma, his dream interpretations, and his administrative talents ultimately saved Egypt from a seven-year famine—and while other nations were starving, Egypt had plenty to go around. This is what ultimately brought the brothers to Egypt, and right to their forsaken brother’s door. When they show up, Joseph quickly recognizes them, but they don’t recognize him—and for a while, Joseph uses that to his advantage to size them up and seize control over the situation. Eventually, he shows himself to his brothers. What a hit their egos must have taken when they were forced to bow down to their brother, the Prince of Egypt—just like Joseph said they would.  

 

In our first reading for today, Jacob has just died. This put the brothers in a precarious position: if he wanted to, Joseph could have killed them. So, the brothers approach Joseph, and tell him that their father asked him to forgive them. By the way, this is a lie; Jacob never said such a thing. But Joseph did not hesitate to forgive. And his forgiveness played an important role in God’s plan of salvation for God’s chosen people. But if these brothers—Joseph especially—held onto their grudges, the story would’ve ended far differently. 

 

And in their defense, I understand why the eleven brothers bore a grudge against Joseph. Joseph was spoiled and arrogant. I can understand them bearing a grudge against their father. No parent in their right mind would treat one of their children like royalty and expect them all to get along. 

 

Grudges begin with legitimate grievances. Something was said or done that fractures a relationship. It isn’t necessary that someone acts maliciously against you. 

 

When you bear a grudge, you are embracing the brokenness of the relationship. As the offended party, you assume a position of power—to deal with them however you please. In most cases, this doesn’t lead to human trafficking or murder. But the grudge is expressed in your refusal to peaceably co-exist. You are right, they are wrong—and what was, “is now, and ever shall be.” 

 

In the end, grudges kill—because ruined relationships ruin people. They make it impossible for legitimate grievances to be addressed. They fuel the fires of division that devolve into looting and shooting. Civilization denigrates into a winner-takes-all death match. 

 

But God commands forgiveness because human beings cannot flourish in perpetual conflict. Grudges are burdens God never meant for you to bear. Grudges embrace the past; forgiveness embraces the future. When human beings, in a spirit of humility and gentleness, can come together and talk honestly and humbly about their grievances, healing can happen. 

 

This is not easy. It would have been extremely hard for Joseph to forgive his brothers from prison. Forgiveness and reconciliation cannot always right old wrongs and make everything fair. You’re forgiving a debt that cannot be repaid to you, or you’re assuming a debt you never ran up. But it isn’t all about you. It’s about the relationship. You’re investing yourself in the other, believing that you can build a brighter future with them, rather than against them.

 

Sometimes, grievances never get worked out. People won’t always respond in-kind to your good will. You will have to share this earth with people who are toxic to you, who go out of their way to make you miserable. Don’t let them tell you who you are. Don’t let them be the ones who rule your life. You’re a child of God—and God’s compassion will be stronger and greater than the worst that human beings can do. God delivered Joseph from the wrath of his brothers, and God will deliver you, too.