The Definitive Love: Luke 14:25-33 - Thirteenth Sunday after Pentecost

²⁵Now large crowds were traveling with [Jesus;] and he turned and said to them, ²⁶“Whoever comes to me and does not hate father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters, yes, and even life itself, cannot be my disciple. ²⁷Whoever does not carry the cross and follow me cannot be my disciple. ²⁸For which of you, intending to build a tower, does not first sit down and estimate the cost, to see whether he has enough to complete it? ²⁹Otherwise, when he has laid a foundation and is not able to finish, all who see it will begin to ridicule him, ³⁰saying, ‘This fellow began to build and was not able to finish.’ ³¹Or what king, going out to wage war against another king, will not sit down first and consider whether he is able with ten thousand to oppose the one who comes against him with twenty thousand? ³²If he cannot, then, while the other is still far away, he sends a delegation and asks for the terms of peace. ³³So therefore, none of you can become my disciple if you do not give up all your possessions.”

Are you familiar with the invisible dog fences that deliver a tiny electric shock to keep your dog in the yard? (NRSV)

A cross above Dili, Timor Leste by Kate Dixon on Flickr. CC BY 2.0

Any time I speak or hear the word “hate,” I feel a shock—because I learned from a young age to never hate anything or anyone. I learned that lesson so well that I’m uncomfortable saying that I hate stink bugs, robocalls, or potholes.

I would rather die than say, “I hate you” to my wife or daughter.

This is why Jesus words hit me like a lightning bolt—and not just when he demands me to hate my family, but when he demands that I give up all my possessions.

Throughout history, there have been numerous deranged individuals (mostly cult leaders and military dictators.) who’ve made these exact demands of their followers—and it never ends well for anyone.

But consider this: Jesus’ first century audience lived under many men and institutions who made these same lofty demands of them.

A Roman citizen was required not only to pay their taxes and obey the laws, but to put the Empire above all other commitments and even give one’s life for it. The Emperor was to be worshipped as god.

Families were structured this way as well: you submit to the will of your patriarch. I’m certain many of Jesus’ followers were hated by their families because they followed him instead of their family’s gods. Even the religious establishment demanded your dying loyalty—meaning that disciples would’ve been subject to their hatred as well.

Also consider the meaning of the word “possessions.” “Possess” is a verb—meaning, my possessions do something to me just as I do unto them. Possessing implies relationship. I don’t merely own my possessions. I have a relationship with them—just as I am in relationship with the people I love. And my relationship to even one belonging has some impact on my relationship to everything and everyone else. That’s the problem.

When you love something or someone too much—and God is not the supreme object of your love—sin will infect your relationships with everyone and everything. Your soul will become afflicted by burdens you were never meant to bear.

Some things—and some people—you love for what you get from them. This is why there’s abuse, manipulation, and controlling behaviors in some relationships. This is also why some will remain in abusive relationships. We see this in materialism and consumerism, the hoarding and wasting of resources, and economic systems of injustice and exploitation. You can even love God for what you get from God.

Some things—and some people—you love because they’re loveable, and you can’t help myself. As a sinner, you are incapable of loving anyone or anything in a way that won’t harm them and yourself in the process.

Some things—and some people—you treat hatefully, even though they are entitled to love because they are God’s creation and bear God’s image. The individual is too caught up in their own concerns to see or care about the neighbor in need. In society, you get tribalism, racism, sexism, and all the other ugly “isms.” This is why the earth suffers so much pollution and desecration.

Overall, any love that isn’t rooted in God isn’t life-giving and life-affirming. It’s misguided at best; toxic at worst.

Bear in mind that Jesus did not actually hate his parents. Yes, he did stay behind at the temple without their knowledge or permission when he was a boy. I’m sure it was against Mary’s wishes for Jesus to die on the cross. Even though Jesus may have disappointed, perplexed, and angered his parents, he loved them through his love for God. He loves you and the world through his love for God—and the cross embodies that love to the full.

As a sinner, you bear responsibility for Christ’s cross, but Christ’s love for you persists. In the cross, you are loved apart from any merit or worthiness. In the cross, you have everything and everyone that can ever be wanted.

God’s love for you will change WHO you love, WHAT you love, and HOW you love.

You will learn to love the loveliness of God’s children, including those who are difficult to love—and you won’t be left empty in the end.

God will love you through your daily bread, and in the grace and mercy that carries you through difficult times.

God will love you through the neighbors you serve.

And together, we shall rise above the despair that grips us as little children are brutally slain, neighbors die of overdoses, and innocent people die in mass shootings. In these times of bitter partisan division, we can find common ground in our love for Jesus Christ and our call to work with him for a better world. In these times of church decline, all the power of God’s love is still at work within us to shepherd our neighbors out of darkness into new renewed.

I don’t want to be possessed by anything I possess. If there’s really anything to be hated in this life, it is to love something or someone so much that there’s no room left for God. Is something worth loving if its presence in your life inspires you not to gratitude or generosity, but a restlessness for more? Can you truly love someone while spending all your energy trying to protect or control them?

Carry your cross and trust that God’s love and grace will satisfy the longings of your soul. Possessions will lose their luster, and when people answer your love with rejection and hate, your soul will not be empty. Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, and strength—and watch God love this world into healing. Let the cross become your prize possession, and resurrection be your heart’s desire.