Holy Doubt: John 20:19-31 - Second Sunday of Easter

¹⁹When it was evening on that day, the first day of the week, and the doors of the house where the disciples had met were locked for fear of the Jews, Jesus came and stood among them and said, “Peace be with you.” ²⁰After he said this, he showed them his hands and his side. Then the disciples rejoiced when they saw the Lord. ²¹Jesus said to them again, “Peace be with you. As the Father has sent me, so I send you.” ²²When he had said this, he breathed on them and said to them, “Receive the Holy Spirit. ²³If you forgive the sins of any, they are forgiven them; if you retain the sins of any, they are retained.”

  ²⁴But Thomas (who was called the Twin), one of the twelve, was not with them when Jesus came. ²⁵So the other disciples told him, “We have seen the Lord.” But he said to them, “Unless I see the mark of the nails in his hands, and put my finger in the mark of the nails and my hand in his side, I will not believe.”
  ²⁶A week later his disciples were again in the house, and Thomas was with them. Although the doors were shut, Jesus came and stood among them and said, “Peace be with you.” ²⁷Then he said to Thomas, “Put your finger here and see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it in my side. Do not doubt but believe.” ²⁸Thomas answered him, “My Lord and my God!” ²⁹Jesus said to him, “Have you believed because you have seen me? Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have come to believe.”

  ³⁰Now Jesus did many other signs in the presence of his disciples, which are not written in this book. ³¹But these are written so that you may come to believe that Jesus is the Messiah, the Son of God, and that through believing you may have life in his name. (NRSV)

Portal romànic de Santa Llùcia de l'Abella by Angela Llop.
Creative commons image on flickr.

For centuries, Christians have celebrated the second Sunday of Easter with the Gospel story of Doubting Thomas.

This year, I’ve resolved to say nothing disparaging about him.  I will not call him “Doubting Thomas” again—because when I do, I feel like I’m saying that there’s something wrong with him.  That simply isn’t fair.

Thomas, along with the male and female disciples, have just suffered the soul-crushing trauma of Jesus’ crucifixion and death.  The male disciples failed to stand by Jesus through his passion—so they’re feeling a lot of guilt right now, too.

All the sudden, Mary tells the disciples that Jesus has been raised from the dead.  Later that evening, Jesus walks through locked doors and shows himself to them, alive. 

Thomas, however, is absent that evening.  When he hears the news of Jesus’ resurrection, he doubts.  He will not believe unless he can see and touch Jesus for himself. 

A week later, very little has changed—because even though the eleven saw Jesus alive, they’re still too scared to venture outside their locked doors.  This time, however, Thomas is there and Jesus reappears.

Is Jesus angry with Thomas?  Has Thomas sinned by not believing what Jesus had been telling him all along, that he would die and rise again?

How do you think Jesus is towards you and your doubts?  Is he mad at you because you are questioning? Will he reject you until you start believing?

If Jesus just walked right through the door, and let you give him the once-over he does for the disciples, there’d be no reason to doubt.  But that’s not possible.

And no one’s ever doubted God because their life has been so perfect.  Doubts always accompany disappointments, disillusionments, and discouragement.  Doubt happens when questions don’t get answered, such as “why do bad things happen to good people?”  “Why aren’t my prayers being answered?”  “If God loves us so much, why can’t we see God?”

These aren’t unreasonable questions.  They are very human questions.  And yet, doubt feels such a

shameful thing.  In a culture that celebrates strength and perseverance, doubt is weakness.  It’s a failure of faith.  Because of this, many Christians will hide their doubts and keep their questions to themselves.  At least then, you don’t have to face the shame of doubting.  But hiding and ignoring things doesn’t make them go away.  Eventually, some Christians will disconnect and disengage.  “When in doubt, just drop out.”

Thomas may have been at the point of giving up—but it is then that Jesus shows up. 

Even though you and I don’t get to see and touch him like they do, there is still a beautiful promise here…

Jesus doesn’t discard people who doubt.  He doesn't abandon people who are too scared even to leave home.  He meets you in your time of fear and your place of doubt. 

Notice how Jesus breathes on his disciples, and says: “Receive the Holy Spirit…”  The Holy Spirit is Jesus’ way of restoring faith that’s been bombarded with doubt.  More than resuscitation, this is resurrection.  Thomas and his fellow disciples are a new creation.  Jesus is giving them the faith they will need to go out into the world and carry on his ministry.

In the end, doubt plays a very important role in faith.  Think of it this way: in the same way that there is no resurrection without death, there can be no faith without doubt.  After all, you’re believing in a God you cannot see—and trusting in promises that may not be fulfilled in the immediate future. But rather than doubts killing your faith, Jesus meets you in them.  If you doubt because of something you’ve suffered, Jesus wants you to know his healing.  If you doubt because of something you’ve done, Jesus wants to forgive.  If you have doubts because you see so much evil in the world, Jesus wants to use you to make the world a better place!

Jesus can take your doubts and your questions and use them to grow your faith!  Faith is formed and strengthened in a lifetime of it dying and being reborn.  Like a fruit tree being pruned to bear more fruit, your doubts allow for Jesus to prune away beliefs that are misguided.  He will use your questions to draw you deeper into the Word and into prayer, so that he may speak something new.  He may even lead you in a completely new direction, as he does for Thomas and the disciples!

The challenge, then, is not to drop out or disengage—but to persevere.  Besides prayer and the Word, one of God’s greatest ways of helping you in times of doubt and questioning are other Christians.  Every believer struggles with doubts.  If anyone says otherwise, they’re mistaken.  Jesus intends for his church to be a safe place to be a doubter and a seeker!  

So challenge yourself—name before Jesus everything that causes you doubt.  Present to him your doubts as an offering. 

Then pray this prayer: “Jesus, open your arms to me in all my places of doubt.  Give me the faith to believe and see that you are near.”

Finally, make up your mind to do one thing differently every day, in bold defiance of your doubt. 

Then, you will see: Jesus will meet you in your time of fear and your place of doubt.